Casualties Of War….Who Will Be Their Guides?….

teen girlsLooking at the next generation, I am left wondering who will lead them? If mom and dad have been replaced by reality TV and music, who is raising our kids? And who will be there to raise and teach their children? What happened to imaginations and playtime? What happened to compassion and empathy?  What happened to shame? Where did all this anger come from? Why can we no longer carry on conversations with each other in person, and yet we will text or talk all day on social media? Why has society changed so drastically and not in a good way? There are so many questions, and yet I really do not have all of the answers. The more I try to come up with answers, the more questions I have. The more I question, the angrier I get. Not at the individuals, but at the seeming futility of trying to find solutions that are as long-lasting as they are needed. It is as if we are fighting a war with some invisible enemy. Someone or something is generating such discontent but what? Who? What if the enemy is really us?10171227_758121634211546_71165956_n

Instead of a nation of free thinkers; we are now one full of followers. The media and celebrities determine acceptable behavior and not mom and dad.How did this happen? Our sons and daughters are becoming carbon images of a contrived money machine. Not a particular person, but a formula for one that has just enough reality in it, to make it palatable to most and believed by nearly all.  The media has glorified ignorant and dramatic behavior because it drives ratings, and women are simply falling into the trap of trying to fit that role. We don’t have young women looking up to the older paragons of decorum and class, since those women only get a few moments of screen time, while the loud mouth and obnoxious women of these pretend reality shows, get prime time.

Teenage girls smokingTake a long look at the behavior of girls and young women. It is both fascinating as it is scary, to see some of us interact with each other. Women are becoming really mean-spirited when it comes to other women. We have always been very competitive, but now girls are competitive for no reason at all. We have girls in elementary school bullying, and treating other little girls like they are trash. teen_talk_depresssion_emo_cutting_02_jpg_70331Girls in middle school that are sexually active, and girls in high school that are so emotionally battered, they have no idea who they are. The level of indifference to the plight of other women,  is really shocking to me as a woman and human being. I don’t understand the degrees of hatred, that can cause young girls and boys of as young as nine or ten to commit suicide or cut themselves, after being bullied, but that is becoming the norm.

Young women are emulating what they see, and not just their environment. These girls may come from what we would consider perfect homes, but they are so full of anger for reasons that even they don’t understand. I like so many others, have seen this change and attribute it to the images they are being subjected to, lack of identity, and desire to fit in. Girls see women that act like wenches get their own reality shows and become famous for being bad. They see a woman become famous for sleeping with different men and think that it is normal.smallparn If you were a young girl would you seek to be like her because you want to be famous or would you be individual enough to understand that behavior is not the way to go? A lot of us can’t answer that question because we are doing exactly what those girls are doing. We are mimicking what we see.

If children start believing they have no value, why would they try to listen to any adult? If women are resenting the roles of mother and men are ignoring the role of fathers where does that leave the children? How does that affect the way they see and value themselves? sista sadHow do some kids reconcile with the fact that their mother is only 15 years older than them? Or that mom is actually in the club more than you are? Or dad is messing around and, has a baby by, a girl that you went to school with? How did the roles of parents become affected by the changes in men and women? The children are the one constant, since when did they become casualties of war?’

strong-women Parenting is not easy. There is no sure-fire way to guarantee your child will grow up perfect. The only thing that parents can do is be a stable guide to our charges while they are in our protection.  I am sure it may have been easier to get along with your child if they treated you like an equal and not like the next thing to God in their world but having a leader to look upon for guidance is imperative to survival for children. As a parent how can you lead if you are afraid to rock the boat and assert authority?  If you listen to the mouths of the media and the negativity you see around you, it is easy to assume that this generation is lost. I refuse to believe that. We can all change if we choose to and are shown the way. Realizing this I thought of a tentative answer to this war. The solution is the person in your mirror. Teach by example. Guide by your actions. Show the next generation what it means to dream and achieve. Be a parent, teacher, guardian before being a friend. Turn off all other distractions for your child and watch her blossom. selah2-1

Why Sistah Why?

download (30)Why Sistah? Why?

Why do you refuse to see your value?

Your beauty? … Your crown?….

Why do you look to a flat screen instead of a mirror to see you?

Why do you not have your own identity?

Why must you see other queens as competition instead of sister?

Why is it ok to be scandalous but embarrassing to stand by your man?

Why Sistah why?images (68)

Why do you cry, in the dark, hating who you are, because you fail to measure up to some fake image of perfection?

Why do you hide behind makeup, false lashes and weave? Your hair is beautiful, your eyes are too.

Why do you allow yourself to be seen as nothing more than a pair of boobs, a big butt and a baby maker?

Why Sistah why?

Why is it ok that Sistahs are seen as loud mouthed, brash and unintelligent by the media, and some of us are stupid enough to think it is funny or doesn’t matter?

Why Sistah why?blackwomen_b

Why do you choose to fight each other over a man that belongs to neither of you?

Why do you allow yourselves to have so many children out of wedlock, and yet call the man you are shacking with ‘Hubby’?

Why don’t you want more? Why don’t you demand more?

Why Sistah why?

Why do you not read books, but you will read Facebook, Instagram or twitter?

Why is it OK to be called a ‘Bitch’ as long as the word ‘Bad’ is placed in front of it? You’re not a beast so why liken yourself to one?

Why do we call other Sistahs that are not following a stereotype, Bougie or ‘not black enough’?

How black is ‘Black’ enough’?

Why is it ok to be labeled a baby mama and not a mother?

Why? Why? Why?….

Why Daughter why?teenage-girl-475

Why baby girl do you not know who you are?

Why do you hate the image in your mirror?

Why are you becoming a young woman that is so full of confusion, and despair?

Why Daughter why?……

Answer…

I am who I am, and learned what I do from watching you. I am a reflection of you. Why Mother Why,… did you not see this sooner?feeling low

Let Her Be A Girl Before You Make Her A Woman!…

little tramp stampEarlier this week I posted a piece discussing the disturbingly horrific ways that our young girls are being seen as sexual beings before they have even hit puberty. The responses I got back were mixed. On the one hand, I met with a lot of support from different mothers and fathers but I did meet quite a few that assumed I had crossed the line. The uncomfortable fact is that in today’s super sexed society, everything we see and view in the media has been carnally charged at some point. How this affects the next generation is up to you to decide. On any given day if you ask me how many kids I have the number may change. That is because I consider every child, my family at some point. I am that neighborhood mom that will take in anyone. I have also been known to discipline my close friends and family’s kids.madea meme Extra chores, timeouts, taken toys, and yes even the occasional spankings were common in my home. I like so many of you, took my role as parent serious enough that it extended to all of those under my roof or presence. I say all this because although I only have two biological sons, I have daughters too.

As a young girl, I was molested. It started when I was 12 and continued for years after that. I internalized that pain and still tried to go on like nothing happened. Grown men around me took notice of my blossoming body before I knew what having a body meant.little-girl-crying I remember how horrible that made me feel. My torment did not end at home. When I was 13 my first summer job was cleaning apartments. The manager took me into one f the bedrooms and asked me to have sex with him. I refused and ran home crying and told my mother. He lied to her when she called and said that he was only testing me. No police were called and the memory of that moment and my torment at home destroyed my self-image.  I was ashamed of my body and yet I wanted to be a young girl like everyone else. I wasn’t allowed that luxury and for years I struggled because of it.  This is the reason I am so concerned by the way that our daughters view themselves. This is why I ask that we all please join the fight to allow our daughters to be little girls first.

Sure we are a super sexed society… Sex does sell but our daughters are not FOR SALE. Stop allowing our daughters to buy into the sexy culture that is the now. Just because they make tube tops and hiphuggers for six-year olds doesn’t mean we should buy them.   One point of view was that pedophiles will look at our kids no matter what they wear. I thought about that for a moment. According to Child Lures Prevention,  “Approximately 400,000 convicted pedophiles currently reside in the United States, according to Department of Justice estimates.” This is only the number of convicted felons. What about the ones like my demons? Neither of the men that touched me as a kid were ever convicted.RAPE The fact remains, that some men and women may not view themselves as typical pedophiles, in my opinion. I am sure we have all heard people talking about how much more mature this or that child is than others. Is it that much of a stretch to assume that some people can be swayed or comforted in thinking that because young Jessica seems to be so mature, she can handle the sexual advances being turned her way? Because she is so mature, she can handle sex? Because she is so mature, she won’t be permanently scarred by her lack of childhood. Because it is just sex it is no big deal right?

BATTERED WOMANWhat if I told you that in the past two months,  I personally have talked to four girls in their teens to early 20s that were all either raped or molested at as early as 11? What if I told you that for three of them their mothers were aware of the abuse and turned a blind eye? What if I told you that they all were told that they looked or acted mature for their age? Do you see a pattern here? What about those little girls that are desensitized to sexuality because it is so common. Sure it is more comfortable to say that it is society’s fault or bad parenting. Guess what? We are SOCIETY. We are the PARENTS. Most of us are not bad parents only misguided. We have gotten not necessarily comfortable, with this new sexy culture but we accept it. We see our daughters twerking and don’t see it as bad, considering everyone is doing it. That is where I start to get Uncomfortable. If everyone is doing it, does that make it any less sexy? This girl is popping and gyrating her hips in ways that are very sexually stimulating. Does this mean that based upon her age some men or women will not be swayed by the movements of her body?  Think so? Go to some of these middle  and high schools and see if you can guess the ages of some of the girls there. See how many girls are wearing high-heeled shoes and short skirts. How many girls are wearing shirts that show their midriff . How many have body piercings or tattoos ?images (96)  While living in Florida, I went to pick my son up from school and this girl was being sent home for showing her shoulders. Surprisingly, over half the girls in the school had on shorts or skirts that left little to the imagination, but shoulders were too sexy to see.

Being the nosy mom of teen boys, I was appalled by the aggressiveness of some of the young ladies in my community. They would walk around wearing nearly nothing, or make sexual gestures or innuendos. Quotes-about-strong-womenI witnessed these girls walking the streets, and was shocked that even I could no longer tell which of them was actually of age. I cautioned my boys, more and more, on the dangers of unprotected sex, and prayed that they listened. I began asking girls why they dressed the way they did, only to find out in some cases she was imitating mom. If this is the way things have become how far will it go? Nothing against teen moms, but when will this be taboo again? It is not that these girls are bad.Far from it. They are simply babies with babies. Can we at least agree on that? Can we also do what we can now, to at least change the image of women, so that girls can again play with dolls and not try to be Barbie? Can we make her comfortable in her own skin, before she starts showing it to the world? girls for womenThe mantle of Maturity, should be earned, in my opinion, not implied.  Let her be young enough to make mistakes, but guide her to understand why mistakes happen. Teach her to be a young LADY. Understand, that it will not be easy to raise an individual little girl, but it is worth every bit. Sure we will have to contend with the media and the newest trends in clothing. Parenting is not meant to be fun all the time. The time is now to remember that. We are the PARENTS. We are the mature ones. We are the ones responsible for our children. We can not shift the blame to Society because WE ARE SOCIETY. Sometimes the only way to protect what you value most is to go back to the basics. We only get a chance to be young once, don’t let your angel’s childhood be filled with regret.

It’s Not Cute… It’s Terrifying!!

little-girls-laughingWhat if I told you that our daughters are in grave danger, not of physical harm but psychological? What if I said that our girls are losing themselves before they have even had a chance to find out who they had lost? What if there was a way to stop this decline before it starts? What if we as mothers and role models have a hand in the destruction of our daughters? All of these what ifs actually can be thought of as reality, if we do not act now. As an exercise turn on your TV and try to find one show or commercial that doesn’t seem to show women as sexual beings. It doesn’t have to be overt, but how many reality shows have young girls that are dressed in provocative clothing, or barely dressed. How about the commercials? What about the internet?bad girls

On almost every social media site there are millions of women and young girls dressed provocatively or emphasizing certain parts of their body. If they are of age what is the problem right? Well its really not, but it can be…. Now that you have done that, look inside of your own closet and at your own pictures….When I did this, I was shocked by the number of sexy pictures I have of myself. I like to dress tasteful with a hint of sexy.529569_769119993118142_1211930667_n I own nearly four times as many high heel shoes as most women. I did not see a problem until one of my adopted daughters posted a pic of herself, dressed up and looking to be years older than her 13 years. I was instantly angry.  I kept envisioning how older men looking at that photo might not care that she was just a baby.why2 When I went to her mother, she laughed and said that I was being silly. I was very serious. Another incident was when another family member posted a message on FB telling guys if they wanted to see a provocative picture of her send her an inbox. She is only 16.

I became more aware  and I started watching all of my friends and their teenage daughters on FB.  I would see people posting pictures or commenting on different supposedly comical images about Ratchet females, yet some of them or their daughter posted similar pics.  I started noticing how more and more our young girls are wearing clothing that is super sexy or posing provocatively. little kids twerkingA 7 year old does not need to dress in the same style as her mom or older sister. It is not cute to see her twerking. ten_yearmodelIt is NOT cute to look at the little girl in this picture and not be disturbed. She is only 10 years old.  (This was a Vogue photo shoot by the way.) Pedophiles would be convicted and sent to jail for having some of these pictures and yet we willingly post them online without worry. We allow our 12, 13, or 16-year-old to take pictures  of themselves or we take them ourselves.

prom dressThe problem is not the clothes it is the attention these girls get that they may not be ready for.  This post is not about the men around us but the way that our young women are shockingly being made to appear so sexual. Having a discussion the other day with a group of people the subject of teens having sex came up. Most everyone agreed that teens were not mature enough to handle being sexually active, but there were some that assumed since they were teen parents, and turned out OK, then it was fine for their kids.  Here are some truly uncomfortable facts. “Teen pregnancy and childbearing bring substantial social and economic costs to teen parents, their children, and to communities. More than 360,000 teen girls give birth each year in the United States. One half of teen mothers do not finish high school. ” This was the finding of the CDC in 2009. That was not that long ago so that fact still scares the life out of me. This doesn’t just affect girls but also young men as well. How can a Boy go from playing on PS4, and watching cartoons to being Man enough to suddenly handle fatherhood? What if he never had a Dad at home to show him how? Understand that just because young Micheal seems big for his age and as if he can handle the weight of responsibility on his shoulders doesn’t mean that he should.  TEACH HIM HOW TO BE A MAN BEFORE YOU EXPECT HIM TO ACT LIKE ONE. dear lord

bathing suitI have said this several times and I will continue to shout if from the rooftops… LET OUR DAUGHTERS BE LITTLE GIRLS BEFORE WE MAKE THEM WOMEN. Understand that all little girls need to go through that phase where she is just that… A little girl. Not a little woman, not a young adult, but a girl. One that is allowed to be seen for her age and not her bust size. It matters. When I was a little girl, the first and only thing that developed were my breasts. I was a scrawny little ragamuffin but I wore a D cup by the time I was in 8th grade. I hated the attention I got from grown men. I hated that by the time I was in high school, some men saw me as a woman and the attention became worse. I remember that humiliation and turmoil that I felt and I fear that for our young girls. It shaped my entire self-image as it did so many others before and after me. It will shape your daughters as well. I understand that society is more relaxed sexually that they were years ago but the mindset of most of our young women is still the same. In all of my research over the years that fact has been proven, time and again.

grandma-grandmother-puts-in-some-twerking-big-freedia-twerkathon-world-record-nyc-dance-videoKnowing this I am imploring all parents, namely mothers please understand that our daughters are not us reborn. They are little individuals. A growing number of us are so busy trying to live out our self-esteem and image through our daughters that we forget that. I know that statement might make some mad but it is meant to. A lot of us because we feel inadequate, or have a poor self-image, delight in the fact that we see new opportunity in our baby girls. “Girls no longer look at their mothers in the same manner that we did thirty years ago. They no longer want to dress up in mommy’s clothes because mommy is too busy dressing up in theirs. Mothers are the first lady in each girl’s life just as fathers are the first men. As a mother the responsibility lumped upon you upon having a child is immense and vital. As a child a young woman does not have an identity all her own so she will look to the first lady for guidance. Starting young and spending that mother daughter time with your child is more important than most people think.” book cover

The statement above is pulled  from my book. I do not think that all images for teen girls is all bad but just the overly sexy ones. In the pictures above all of the young women are under 18 (except for the bad girls). If that doesn’t scare you enough think about how thanks to us as parents allowing some of these pictures to be posted online, pedophiles don’t have to look very far to get access to their obsessions. Remember that when you hear someone say it is not that bad. Remember that young Mary is only 14 and pregnant. Remember that when you see little Ashley twerking on a boy at the age of 11. It may not be that bad to you now, but I can guarantee you it will get worse.

Unique Not Different…. Why Are You Insecure?

images (15)Why am I so insecure? A lot of us ask this question daily. We look at ourselves with critical eyes and without knowing it we already see the person in the mirror as lacking. We may compare ourselves to friends or coworkers. We may look at someone on television and instead of seeing ourselves as the vision that we are, we see someone possibly lacking. We think we don’t look as good as them or that we can’t possibly measure up to them. 1899925_10152126409942819_1375523898_nIn truth you can never measure up to anyone. The only person you can measure up to is YOU. You are as beautiful as YOU see that you are. You are as handsome as YOU see that you are. You are not like everyone else and that is the way it is supposed to be.

download (4)Personal validation is imperative to your own growth and understanding of self. Daily I see or hear people looking for outside influences to tell them that they are worth more than they should already know that they are. You are much more than you think if you would just see it. This insecure view that we have of ourselves feeds this strange loathing of the person in the mirror. Eventually everything that you despise, you start to hate. That is a normal reaction but in this case it is not founded. You might look at yourself and see someone less than perfect but that doesn’t mean that you are right in that belief. Believe it or not Insecurity is a learned behavior. We are not born hating self. We are not born feeling inadequate. We are born exactly as we were meant to. We can not change the circumstances of our birth. We can not change genetics. We are who we are for a reason.

images (76)Learning to be secure is vital to our survival as a species. Turn off the destructive thoughts in your mind. They are actually not really yours in the first place. A six-year-old does not know that she is not perfect unless someone outside of herself tells her that she isn’t. And not in the way that you think. I am not talking about some mean person or kid telling her she is ugly. Imagine being a little girl with black hair in a room full of blonds.Because she is not like everyone, she may begin to feel like an outcast. images (24) She wasn’t meant to be. She is uniquely opposite from them because that s the way that she was created. She is not different. She still has the same two eyes, two hands, two legs as the others, she is simply genetically structured in a different manner. Now here is where the learned behavior comes into play. These same little girls have been taught by parents, media and society that different is weird. Different is not weird. It is UNIQUE. 

Turn off society. Turn off parents and friends. Turn off those that seek to tear us down. Turn on your own acceptance. So what if you have black hair, blond hair or blue skin.You were born that way. There is nothing you could’ve done to change that. We can’t change genetics. Physical changes that we do to our person to alter our appearance are superficial. We can dye our hair. But it will not change the fact that genetically you still have black hair and that is OK. We have to come to terms with that acceptance of self.  I am not saying that you can not change yourself.  I am saying that before we start heading to the surgeons office to get a nose job at 16, or seeking to imitate the person we see on the TV or on the web, first see what it is like to walk around in your own unchanged and accepted shoes.

images (98)Even modeling agencies are starting to understand that unique can be beautiful. If you were to use that same critical eye that you look at yourself and look at some of the models in Vogue magazine you might find yourself smiling.  Sure most models have perfect bodies on film or camera but most of that is airbrushed and photoshop. They can look exactly like you and I without all of the makeup and pizzazz. So before you look at Beyonce’, Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie or even Jennifer Anniston and start to feel inadequate, look in the mirror and smile. images (55)You are just as beautiful as they are. YOU just have to see it.  Before you start looking at your friends or people around you and assuming that you don’t measure up, understand you were not meant to. Physically they may be different but again that is simply on a genetic level. We are still equal. There are no mistakes in nature so stop looking at yourself as if you are. 

10174843_527287297380881_793382060538508488_nLearn to be Vain with you. Every time you walk past a mirror start blowing yourself a little kiss. Start looking at your nose or cheek bones as an asset to the unique you. Start seeing that although you may not look like someone else it doesn’t make them better. It doesn’t make you worse. It doesn’t mean you are not as special. They are not a threat in your world because you are both the same. You are just as fabulous as me. No more and no less. I am just as awesome as you. No more no less. We are all truly perfectly imperfect and that is OK.  Validate YOURSELF daily. You may not be God’s gift to the world but you are his gift to YOU. Don’t insult him by acting as if that gift is cheap.

Don’t Throw You Away….

2014-03-10-15-29-14--216826980Trashy vs Classy, do you know the difference? Over the course of three years I researched the attitudes of men and women and the way we look at and see each other. It’s no secret the way that the media decides the popular woman or man. Meaning we base the way we dress, act and conduct ourselves primarily on what we see. The way that a lot of us see our personalities is not so much influenced  by our own individuality but by the lastest fad or trend of the moment.  When you turn on the television if every woman on there is dressed in six inch stilettos and a skirt up the rump nine times out of ten, if you look outside the window you will see nearly every third woman trying to mimic the look. There is nothing new there right? This has been going on since forever.

What happens though when the ‘hot woman’ or the popular image that is being pushed is not exactly the most wholesome? Or what if she is too goody two shoes?

What if the woman of the moment is loud and  brash? What if the new woman is a little raunchy? What if she is not truly ‘YOU’? TRASHY in my opinion is really not all about the clothes you might wear. tumblr_lp7aouAm8R1r0h8q0o1_500In fact I could care less about what you wear so long as you wear the clothing meant for your personality.  The worst kind of trashiness to me  is the loss of who you are. The total disregard of self in favor of assimilation.  In my opinion,  That’s what we do each day when we knowingly refuse to be individuals.  It’s trashy because it is as if we are willingly throwing away the person in the mirror. We just want to fit in. But in the process we lose the image of the woman/man in the mirror. This is where the trashiness begins to show outwardly.

 

be-a-leaderThrowing you away is doing yourself the most grevious disservice there is. You were born to stand out. You were born to shine, don’t worry about whether you fit into a certain mold you’re YOU.  Stop trying to fit an image that belongs to someone else.  Be your own CLASS ACT. You are so much better than an imagined competition with a fictitious person. What I mean by that is using Beyoncé as an example, I see her bouncing aroundand wearing skimpy clothes that have men going nuts…. I am not Beyonce but here I am trying to squeeze my size ten self into an outfit meant for her.images Sure guys will still look but they might not have the same reaction.  They might look at me and assume I am trying too hard or think that since I’m not an entertainer I’m might be judged on how I appear. The question I have then is why did I feel the need to be like Beyonce?  Her image is not mine and we dont travel in the same circles so the idea that she and I are competitors is ludicrous. So why am I trying so hard?

2014-03-10-15-29-30--2081377712The issue of sexuality and the hypersexed society that we live in makes it extremely hard for the individual to not be tempted to go for the  shock factor just tobe nnoticed. This should be all the reason you need to try harder to be an individual.  Be classy. Open yourself up to the glamorous you. Throw out the image of the popular woman and look in the mirror at the sexy you. Throw out the illfitting clothes and scrape off the two tons of make up. You’re perfect without it. Your clothes are an extension of you. They cant show the real you if you copied it from a magazine.  Imagine what life would be like if everyone was truly unique. If you walked outside and the world instantly recognized you. Be classy enough to think of yourself as your own celebrity model. Your life is  your runway and the world is your stage. Trashy vs Classy basically fake vs real. Accepting the person in the mirror enough to let the world see you is the sexiest form of self love. No outside influence necessary.

I’m A Good Person…. I Think?

untitledBe who you are and not who your not. In life we all seek to find out who we really are, but how can we truly embrace that new person if we don’t first know who we are NOT. Meaning I can say I am a good person but how will I know that if I don’t know what bad means. I may claim to be a strong woman, but how can I say that if I am still pretending to be someone I saw on TV or on the street. I can say I am a lot of things but who I am really is defined by my character. My character tells me I am a woman to be respected. My character says that I am good. My character says that I am worthy of me.be-you

Know your character. Not your reputation. Think of it like this in politics even the most crooked politicians can have a good reputation. Your reputation can be fueled by lies and stories that we tell or are told about us but that does not prove or disprove who we really are. If you were to objectively view the person in the mirror, would you like him/her or would you be instantly filled with distaste. Not because you may not be satisfied with the physical appearance but lets say you look at yourself as a person. As a man or woman, as a human being. Do you like what you see or do you see a person that needs to change? Everyone should be able to look at themselves at some point in life and say that they love the person staring back at them. We should all be so fortunate to look at who we are and to see exactly the person we want to be. We should see who we desire to be and not who we pretend or don’t want to be.

imagesSome of us have a fear of becoming our parents. We look at the person in the mirror and see all of the things about mom or dad that used to drive us nuts as kids only to find out that we are the same now years later. Mom may have been a worrier and constantly nagging or dad may have been aloof to all things. Either way we sometimes pick up those habits and then surprise ourselves when we start to do what they do. What about if the person you are on the outside is not a direct reflection of anyone that you know? What if the real you is being hidden under layers upon layers of false personas that you have picked up over the years? What if you have forgotten who you really are? How do you even know if the layers aren’t more than just window dressing but a real part of you?
Ask yourself ” Who am I really?” This question can not be answered by anyone but you. The answer to who you are can not be given to you by a therapist, friend or relative. You have to eventually find out the person in the mirror yourself. In order to do that stop looking outside of the mirror for ideas and start looking internally.angry mirror
Know what you desire to find before you go looking. If you desire to be a ‘good’ person and seek that in your image find out if you really are good.