Stop Living In Yesterday’s Feelings…

unhappy-relationshipIf he wasn’t the one before, then just because you miss him,  won’t make him the one now. I know it is hard missing someone that you profess to have once loved and cared for. Sometimes we all would like to have the chance to change things. To maybe go back in time and get back to when things were perfect and happy. Unfortunately we can not reverse time. And to be very honest some of us really need to look at the past for what it is and not be clouded by emotion. It is only human to want people to miss us and to hope that they have changed. But we have to remember that our hopes are just that OUR HOPES. They may not be reality. Even if this man wanted to rekindle a romance, that does not mean that he has made a change for it to happen. And that can also be the same case with you.images (32)

1618608_728402417183468_2063840689_nSisters STOP living in yesterday’s feelings. Let it go. Let him go. I am not saying that love does not deserve second chances. Far from it. Just be very careful when you are giving out those chances. Every day is a new beginning. Its a fresh start and a chance to change the decisions that cause us so much grief. I say all the time that one of the easiest things to change is our relationships with others. The reason is because we can chose to be free. Most of the time we are only held in bondage by ourselves Not by the other person. This does not go for abusive relationships.. A few months ago I talked about toxic people and recognizing when you are hurting yourself. Too often ladies we have a hand in our own pain. We focus so much on the good times that we forget the bad…. Until reality kicks in.

images (96)I am always repeating myself nowadays but these words need to be repeated and heard. “YOU CAN NOT CHANGE ANOTHER PERSON!!” No matter how much you want to, or how many years, months, weeks or days has passed you can not change another person simply because you want them to change. That man that was cheating on you and treating you like dirt can only change if HE comes to the decision to change. He will only see you differently when HE is ready to see you differently. That fellow that was abusive four years ago, can very well be worse now that he has you again. Sure the sweet words and newness of a love rekindled can mask that abusive behavior but it is still there unless HE has gotten help. NOT YOU. You however can escape this by using logic and not emotion. Stop allowing your hopes to be your jailer.value

One thought on “Stop Living In Yesterday’s Feelings…

  1. Ang, a huge issue some of us have is that we’re afraid and uncomfortable being alone. I remember the lyric to the song “No pain no gain” where she says “Having a piece of a man is better than having no man at all.” I remember thinking this was the worse lyric ever. I mean, how desperate does someone have to be to accept a piece of a man? Well, I’m a little bit.. lot bit older now and I get it. You’re alone less with a piece of a man….. but you still only have a piece-of-a-man and on the days when he’s not there you’re more alone than ever.
    It’s so natural to want someone in your life and the other side of the bed can get pretty cold but never as cold as when the person who just climbed off of you doesn’t love, respect or even like you. We have to learn to be alone. There’s nothing wrong with staying in on a Saturday night. Nothing wrong with learning to enjoy your own company. When you’re good to yourself you can show others how to be good to you too. You set a standard of what someone else can do to make you happy. There’s nothing wrong with making love yourself.. might even last longer and you definately don’t lose respect for yourself in the act.
    I’ve placed myself in lockdown mode. As much as I love flopping around and sweating my perm out with someone I’ve decided that it’s not worth it if I feel anything other than loved after the act is done. Let’s be honest; if you’ve screwed a few times you’ve been there and done that. Being hard up for ding-a-ling is not a cute look. Laying up with someone, allowing them to stretch your insides out of shape to the point where it’s no good for the man who’s going to love you comes along.. AIN’T CUTE.
    The man who left is gone. You miss him but never forget his shadiness, his lies and how he just discarded you as a person.


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