Excuses…. someone brought up the subject about women making excuses for each other and it made me think. Sometimes the excuses are good, sometimes bad. The point is they are there, and they can either help or harm us. I went to bed, and woke up with that thought on my mind. Do we (women) make excuses? Are we the one’s freely giving away the power of self? Are we so blind to the plights of others that the biggest excuse we give ourselves is that the other woman is somehow different or she asked for it? She allowed herself to be disrespected therefore it is not my problem and that makes it funny. I asked women how they felt about being called b****es. For me the answer was outrage as it was for a few others. For some however, the answer was “Depends on how it’s being used. ” In other words they argued that the use of this term can actually mean something good. If a woman is called a bad b***h then that means she is about her business. Well why not simply say that she is good at what she does? Why use a derogatory word and try to make it less derogatory by turning it into a compliment?
A video was shared on FB by a male friend of mine, that he and other men, found hilarious. I was curious,so I watched it. It talked about how side chicks should ‘stay in their lane’. As I watched, I was not amused. I grew more furious by the moment. I sat there and I replayed it, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Then I started reading the comments. “That’s how some women are”. “That’s what women like that get”. These were comments from women. Some of us actually found it funny. When asked about that, a few tried to justify their humor, by saying that if a woman was stupid enough to allow a man to treat her as such, then she gets what she gets. It’s funny now. This same logic …. these same words follow women everywhere. Even in the world of domestic abuse, a lot of women will stand by and watch a friend, stranger or even relative being battered and simply say “She stupid for putting up with that. If it was me I would….” Well here’s a newsflash ladies….. every time you do that you are justifying why you made a conscious choice to judge and not act. You made an EXCUSE!
“Women are forever saying that men treat us like we are cheap and dirty, but we are the ones in control of the images that we put out. We are the ones that control what men see and we control how he will treat us. ” I have repeated this statement a thousand times, even though at times I think it is falling on deaf ears. It is frustrating to see the way some of us women will give over the power of self in order, to please another. Stop making excuses Sisters. Stop being a victim to your own heart and foolishness. If you want respect, be someone who can be respected. Stop looking to others and saying that it is the other woman’s fault and passing the blame, all the while, your own closet is so full of skeletons it resembles a crypt. It is not funny to see a woman selling herself short. It is NOT OK for me to do the same. We are all worth more than we can ever imagine. Ladies stop allowing your dignity and pride as a woman be bought! You don’t have to parade naked to be seen. You don’t have to be loud. You don’t have to be a toy for an unavailable man who will never be yours. You can CHOOSE to be free. The KEY to your life has ALWAYS been in your own hands. YOU control YOU! Now control how you project the real you to the world and teach your daughters. sisters, and friends to do the same. STOP ridiculing other sisters and lead by example. Lift up those who need it.