Could Your Post Make Your Rape OK?

jadaA few weeks ago there a young woman was raped and filmed and the pictures were plastered all over social media. She was 16 and after passing out she was stripped and violated. The responses from some men and women, turned my stomach when I talked about and spread the news. A few men blamed the victim.If she wasn’t drunk she would not have been in that situation“. This made me so angry I wanted to start a new war. A lot of people that viewed those pictures thought they were funny and made memes joking and laughing about being Jada’d. What has changed about the world that could make someone that deprived, think that rape was funny? Why are there not more people going around and rallying for justice for this young girl? Why does it seem as if we would rather laugh at violence than change it? Is this who we are? victim blaming

I look on my news feed on different social media, and I am appalled by the number of people posting these videos of women twerking or fighting. We say some of the most ridiculous things when we share this mess. (It is either funny to us or degrading). Today alone, I saw a dozen videos of women shaking their booties. I am not a prude nor do I judge. It’s your body do with it what you will if you are old enough to understand the consequences. don't value My question is why are there so many? It seems that more and more women are jumping at the chance to showcase her ability to drop it like its hot. WHY? How is this showcasing strength? How is this showing us to be  above reproach? Is posting these videos causing some men to not see us as human beings but as fodder for playtime? These questions plague me because just as I was sitting here responding to comments from my post about Jada, I began to think long and hard. If Jada being drunk made rape OK, what does posting a video of a ourselves popping our butts like we have no other means of showing beauty, mean? Will the next argument be  if I posted a video of myself then showed up at a party, I am asking to be raped? What about if I am constantly posting sexy pics of myself online? What if I had a few drinks and danced in front of a group of men?boys consent

How did we get to the point where our girls are posting more and more pics  or worse we are training them on how? I still see disturbing images of teenagers and babies twerking. If the dances and attire of these girls is the same that you would see at a strip club or bar, is this not enticing to the minds of men? Although she is only 13, it doesn’t mean anything if she has the body of a 20 year old, and men won’t respond to it. Come on people! If Jada was raped while at a party, filmed and plastered all over the web to be made fun of, it could just as easily have been our daughter. The threat is not that far away and we as parents may be allowing it to and daughter Women I say this to you, before you post a pic of yourself remember that if you have a daughter she may end up doing the same. Just because a man likes the video or pic, doesn’t mean he respects you. Just because you are grown and look good at 25, it doesn’t mean that you will still be proud of that video that you posted 10 or 20 years from now.

Be accountable for the person in your mirror and the one you are raising. Be aware that some people are using the things we do against us. In the case of Jada what if  her attackers were caught and the jury included a few people that felt she asked for it? What will happen next? What if the next victim was your 14 year old niece, but she looks and acts older? Each of those pics shared of Jada were child pornography. Each of the pics our daughters are sending to young men and posting online is child porn. Stop making ourselves out to be only sexual beings. Pull back some and be more sensual. Grown and sexy should not always mean simply grown and popping.  Talk to your kids. really talk TO them and not AT them. Find out if they understand that rape is still rape. Assault is still assault and no one ASKS for it! legacy


2 thoughts on “Could Your Post Make Your Rape OK?

  1. This is a beautifully written piece. This comment, “If she wasn’t drunk she would not have been in that situation” disturbs me, but probably not for the reason you would think. It disturbs me, because with the way things have been going in this world recently, I believe that even if she weren’t drunk, this could have still happened. Some of our young people do not have a clue how to behave in certain situations, be responsible, or respectful. I am glad that I did not see any of the videos or photos that have been circulating. I know how it feels to be in her situation. I wasn’t drunk, and I didn’t ask for what happen to happen! I was an unwilling participant in a situation that I had felt safe in, up until the moment I was violated! No-one deserves to be violated, regardless of how they look or present themselves. No-one has the right to take from you what you are not willingly giving them.

    You asked why are there so many women jumping at the chance to showcase their ability to drop it like it’s hot. The simple, yet more complex than we can imagine, answer is that they are emulating what they see. This is the current climate of our culture these days. They see these women on these reality shows and they want to be just like them. They have no positive role models in their lives, or they don’t have enough of them, to help them see the err of their ways. I wish I could speak to ever young girl that is put in a situation where she has no-one to look up to. I am not a perfect individual, by any stretch, but I know that I could make a positive impact on some of these young ladies that are willing to listen.

    As for those that don’t think what they did is wrong or somehow the young lady is at fault for what happened, all I can do is pray for them and ask that God allows them to soon see that they are wrong. I pray that one of these days our young women will have people in their lives that are willing to show them that they are more than their bodies. I also pray that they accept the advice and use it for good!

    We can change the world, one child and one day at at time!! I believe that!


    • Thank you so much for that heartfelt comment. I am touched and honored that you would share a little of your story. That means a lot. I agree with everything that you stated. Especially the fact that women are reacting to what they see and emulating it. The problem I have with all of this is that in doing so women are actually being desensitized to each other. The more I try to talk to women, the more I began to meet up with a brick wall. Some of us are unwilling to see their actions as possibly dangerous. And the heartbreaking thing is a lot of teen girls do not know how to say no. They feel pressured and scared to speak out. The other thing is even if they did who would listen. Often mom is doing the same thing as her or worse. We do have to change the world one child and one day at a time. 🙂 Thanks again!


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