What if I told you that our daughters are in grave danger, not of physical harm but psychological? What if I said that our girls are losing themselves before they have even had a chance to find out who they had lost? What if there was a way to stop this decline before it starts? What if we as mothers and role models have a hand in the destruction of our daughters? All of these what ifs actually can be thought of as reality, if we do not act now. As an exercise turn on your TV and try to find one show or commercial that doesn’t seem to show women as sexual beings. It doesn’t have to be overt, but how many reality shows have young girls that are dressed in provocative clothing, or barely dressed. How about the commercials? What about the internet?
On almost every social media site there are millions of women and young girls dressed provocatively or emphasizing certain parts of their body. If they are of age what is the problem right? Well its really not, but it can be…. Now that you have done that, look inside of your own closet and at your own pictures….When I did this, I was shocked by the number of sexy pictures I have of myself. I like to dress tasteful with a hint of sexy. I own nearly four times as many high heel shoes as most women. I did not see a problem until one of my adopted daughters posted a pic of herself, dressed up and looking to be years older than her 13 years. I was instantly angry. I kept envisioning how older men looking at that photo might not care that she was just a baby. When I went to her mother, she laughed and said that I was being silly. I was very serious. Another incident was when another family member posted a message on FB telling guys if they wanted to see a provocative picture of her send her an inbox. She is only 16.
I became more aware and I started watching all of my friends and their teenage daughters on FB. I would see people posting pictures or commenting on different supposedly comical images about Ratchet females, yet some of them or their daughter posted similar pics. I started noticing how more and more our young girls are wearing clothing that is super sexy or posing provocatively. A 7 year old does not need to dress in the same style as her mom or older sister. It is not cute to see her twerking. It is NOT cute to look at the little girl in this picture and not be disturbed. She is only 10 years old. (This was a Vogue photo shoot by the way.) Pedophiles would be convicted and sent to jail for having some of these pictures and yet we willingly post them online without worry. We allow our 12, 13, or 16-year-old to take pictures of themselves or we take them ourselves.
The problem is not the clothes it is the attention these girls get that they may not be ready for. This post is not about the men around us but the way that our young women are shockingly being made to appear so sexual. Having a discussion the other day with a group of people the subject of teens having sex came up. Most everyone agreed that teens were not mature enough to handle being sexually active, but there were some that assumed since they were teen parents, and turned out OK, then it was fine for their kids. Here are some truly uncomfortable facts. “Teen pregnancy and childbearing bring substantial social and economic costs to teen parents, their children, and to communities. More than 360,000 teen girls give birth each year in the United States. One half of teen mothers do not finish high school. ” This was the finding of the CDC in 2009. That was not that long ago so that fact still scares the life out of me. This doesn’t just affect girls but also young men as well. How can a Boy go from playing on PS4, and watching cartoons to being Man enough to suddenly handle fatherhood? What if he never had a Dad at home to show him how? Understand that just because young Micheal seems big for his age and as if he can handle the weight of responsibility on his shoulders doesn’t mean that he should. TEACH HIM HOW TO BE A MAN BEFORE YOU EXPECT HIM TO ACT LIKE ONE.
I have said this several times and I will continue to shout if from the rooftops… LET OUR DAUGHTERS BE LITTLE GIRLS BEFORE WE MAKE THEM WOMEN. Understand that all little girls need to go through that phase where she is just that… A little girl. Not a little woman, not a young adult, but a girl. One that is allowed to be seen for her age and not her bust size. It matters. When I was a little girl, the first and only thing that developed were my breasts. I was a scrawny little ragamuffin but I wore a D cup by the time I was in 8th grade. I hated the attention I got from grown men. I hated that by the time I was in high school, some men saw me as a woman and the attention became worse. I remember that humiliation and turmoil that I felt and I fear that for our young girls. It shaped my entire self-image as it did so many others before and after me. It will shape your daughters as well. I understand that society is more relaxed sexually that they were years ago but the mindset of most of our young women is still the same. In all of my research over the years that fact has been proven, time and again.
Knowing this I am imploring all parents, namely mothers please understand that our daughters are not us reborn. They are little individuals. A growing number of us are so busy trying to live out our self-esteem and image through our daughters that we forget that. I know that statement might make some mad but it is meant to. A lot of us because we feel inadequate, or have a poor self-image, delight in the fact that we see new opportunity in our baby girls. “Girls no longer look at their mothers in the same manner that we did thirty years ago. They no longer want to dress up in mommy’s clothes because mommy is too busy dressing up in theirs. Mothers are the first lady in each girl’s life just as fathers are the first men. As a mother the responsibility lumped upon you upon having a child is immense and vital. As a child a young woman does not have an identity all her own so she will look to the first lady for guidance. Starting young and spending that mother daughter time with your child is more important than most people think.”
The statement above is pulled from my book. I do not think that all images for teen girls is all bad but just the overly sexy ones. In the pictures above all of the young women are under 18 (except for the bad girls). If that doesn’t scare you enough think about how thanks to us as parents allowing some of these pictures to be posted online, pedophiles don’t have to look very far to get access to their obsessions. Remember that when you hear someone say it is not that bad. Remember that young Mary is only 14 and pregnant. Remember that when you see little Ashley twerking on a boy at the age of 11. It may not be that bad to you now, but I can guarantee you it will get worse.