Be who you are and not who your not. In life we all seek to find out who we really are, but how can we truly embrace that new person if we don’t first know who we are NOT. Meaning I can say I am a good person but how will I know that if I don’t know what bad means. I may claim to be a strong woman, but how can I say that if I am still pretending to be someone I saw on TV or on the street. I can say I am a lot of things but who I am really is defined by my character. My character tells me I am a woman to be respected. My character says that I am good. My character says that I am worthy of me.
Know your character. Not your reputation. Think of it like this in politics even the most crooked politicians can have a good reputation. Your reputation can be fueled by lies and stories that we tell or are told about us but that does not prove or disprove who we really are. If you were to objectively view the person in the mirror, would you like him/her or would you be instantly filled with distaste. Not because you may not be satisfied with the physical appearance but lets say you look at yourself as a person. As a man or woman, as a human being. Do you like what you see or do you see a person that needs to change? Everyone should be able to look at themselves at some point in life and say that they love the person staring back at them. We should all be so fortunate to look at who we are and to see exactly the person we want to be. We should see who we desire to be and not who we pretend or don’t want to be.
Some of us have a fear of becoming our parents. We look at the person in the mirror and see all of the things about mom or dad that used to drive us nuts as kids only to find out that we are the same now years later. Mom may have been a worrier and constantly nagging or dad may have been aloof to all things. Either way we sometimes pick up those habits and then surprise ourselves when we start to do what they do. What about if the person you are on the outside is not a direct reflection of anyone that you know? What if the real you is being hidden under layers upon layers of false personas that you have picked up over the years? What if you have forgotten who you really are? How do you even know if the layers aren’t more than just window dressing but a real part of you?
Ask yourself ” Who am I really?” This question can not be answered by anyone but you. The answer to who you are can not be given to you by a therapist, friend or relative. You have to eventually find out the person in the mirror yourself. In order to do that stop looking outside of the mirror for ideas and start looking internally.
Know what you desire to find before you go looking. If you desire to be a ‘good’ person and seek that in your image find out if you really are good.