Have you ever met someone who was so lonely or upset that they go to extremes to get attention. Sometimes it is a cry for help and others its simply because they just are bored. When is that cry for help truly real and what should we do? I get calls all the time from friends and relatives in crisis. Because I listen, they sometimes look to me to be that voice of reason and support. I truly don’t mind it since listening and caring is my gift. However the concern for me is those few that seek attention by going to extremes. This is the reason behind this post. Are you a ‘Attention Seeker’ ? Are you crying out for help or are you crying wolf? Why?
Understand that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be noticed. It is natural to want to be seen and cared for by the people in your life. It is OK to want to be heard. It is natural to feel so overwhelmed that you want to scream. Sometimes the best thing that you can do is seek the company and comfort of others. But what if there is no one there to listen? What if you have burned all of the bridges in with family and friends? Who will be there in your time of need? You might feel so alone that you start to think like a desperate person. You start wondering who do I turn to? Who will hear the sorrow wailing within my heart? Who will be my friend and confidant? We wonder all of that and then when the moment arises we seek to get attention in some of the worst ways.
As children we may have sought attention by being disobedient or acting out. Now as an adult you would think we have grown beyond the acting out phase, well what if we haven’t grown past the mindset of our childhood? Unconsciously we may still be that little kid that is looking for mom or dad’s love. Unfortunately because we are adults our way of acting out however goes beyond the flunking out in class. Because we are grown we start to feel that desperation on a deeper level. As kids people have to care about you right? However as an adult you are supposed to care about yourself…..So if you do not have a personal VALUE in SELF, how can you care about the person in the mirror and how could anyone else care for you?
I say all of this because the true issue with a lot of us is the fact that we do not have our own Personal Value. We assume that we are worthless and unworthy of attention by any other means besides the drastic. We create drama by doing silly stunts…. Causing a fight, gossiping, lying, cheating and etc. For a lot of us that goes to a level that is beyond just simply being sad, we seek to do harm to ourselves. We kid ourselves into thinking that if we were to leave this earth and to be gone from this plane of existence that the people who love us will be better off or they will miss us when we are gone. Thereby giving our spirit the attention we desire. This pension to self harm is not one to take lightly.
Suicide is NEVER an answer….. Self Mutilation is never an answer….. Doing harm to YOU is not going to cause people to care. If anything imagine the hurt and anger you will be leaving behind. Suicide hurts everyone not just you. If you are having thoughts of doing harm to yourself please seek immediate help. Because it is so devastating for all involved this is the absolute WORST attention seeking ploy you can ever imagine. Everyone has heard the story of the boy who cried wolf. We know about how he cried wolf so many times that eventually no one believed him and when the wolf was actually there he was left to defend his sheep himself. Well it can be the same with pretending to be suicidal.
There is something deeper than just seeking attention and depression if you are one of the select few that believes that this type of antic is OK. It is not. This is your LIFE that you are playing with and that is NOT cool! To subject family and friends to the roller coaster of emotions: fear, anger, despair, disappointment, guilt, to name a few , is a selfish act that will never go over well. Of course if someone loves you or is a basic human being they will respond to your threats to do self harm. However if this becomes a regular occurrence then the normal response from people will not be to continue to get as upset. They will eventually start to resent the game they assume is being played. They will no longer recognize the as a cry for help and see it as a cry for attention and choose to ignore it. I understand the hurt that you may be feeling now. I can empathize with your desperation but I can not condone the way some of us are choosing to express it.