One of the hardest things for most people to admit is when they have made a mistake. For whatever reason it is easier for a lot of us to pass the buck. To lay blame elsewhere instead of on our own doorstep. It does seem easier to simply say that the reason things go badly is because of some outside force or circumstance. As humans we do not want to be held Accountable for the bad but readily accept praise for the things that go well. Mistakes are what some of us look at as failures instead of redirects. Furthermore one thing that a lot of us forget is that we choose our own path. Think about it for a second… Even the most logical and direct of us all can not refute the fact that a person’s fate can only be influenced but not seriously affected by the environment that surrounds them. Instead what happens is our lives are shaped by the things that we see, hear and touch. We look at our environment and surrounding and we make CHOICES on how to live based upon that. We also make decisions based upon the perceived reactions of others. An example is if you are hanging out with friends and they do something messed up like drinking and driving. You are fully aware when you guys arrive at the party that your friend will be drinking heavily yet you choose to not take the keys or offer to drive. Then after the festivities lets say you make another choice. You notice your friend wobbling and falling over drunk. In that moment even though you are uncomfortable riding with them you still get in the passenger seat. Playing out this story let’s go on to imagine that you guys end up wrecking and injured. Who is to blame? Is it the friend for driving drunk? Is it yourself for not stepping up?…. It’s both of you. Your friend for having poor impulse control and both of you had lack of judgement.
One entity that seems to always be the scapegoat for the blame game is the devil. We all would like to say that the Devil made us do something. That he was the reason I was tempted to steal. The devil made me commit adultery. The devil made me do harm to someone without cause. The devil is the one to blame not me…. The deal is that even old Beelzebub (if you believe he exists), is not powerful enough to force your hand. The one thing that you have complete autonomy over is the power of choice. Using the example of the devil, everyone says that this entity is a liar and fiend. That he will whisper in your ear different scenarios meant to make you be tempted. He can give you that image of what you are stealing but you still can make the choice to say no. I refuse. You chose to commit adultery. You chose to harm another without cause. You chose to do the things that you did so own up to them and try to move forward. You’re human not perfect. You are going to have that moment when you fall but that doesn’t mean you will always stay there.
When you hold yourself accountable for your actions, you learn that it’s easier on yourself to think over your actions or reactions beforehand. Holding yourself accountable is not going to be an easy task. Sometimes it leaves you feeling or wishing you had have done things differently or better. It leaves you questioning your choices at times. When you hold yourself accountable you are saying ”I am taking responsibility for my actions, thoughts, reactions, choices, behavior. I am responsible for the past. present and future choices that got me here. You no longer feel the need to place blame on others for your life and where you are now. You know that you have erred and because of that you are growing stronger and more aware.
Awareness of self is a powerful drug and it can bring out a new level of pride because you know that the choices you make are your own. You take the responsibility of making and carrying them out. There is an old gospel song that says ‘Clean up what I messed up…. I’m starting my life all over again”. This acceptance of responsibility over yourself truly means that you run you. Every time you admit to being human and making mistakes it makes you stronger. You gain that strength daily. When you start walking your truth, you will start noticing the power of choice more and more. Use that power wisely. All that we are tempted to do may not be meant for you to do so.