Last year I asked everyone to define themselves and after that, answer who they really are. The responses I got back were not unexpected. A lot of people do not know who they are and the scary thing is they are not aware of it. How you define yourself has nothing to do with how you see yourself in the physical sense.Meaning stop looking at the successes in your life or the things around you. Stop looking at your clothes, or the shape of your body. Stop looking at all of those things and instead look at your inner person. Going back to the mirror. Look closely at the person staring back at you with naked eyes and think long and hard about what makes you. You are not like me. You are not like your friends and family. You are a totally unique entity and that is fine. As a matter of fact that is more than fine, it’s perfect. You are one of a kind. Who cares if you are a square peg trying to fit into a round slot. Maybe you aren’t meant to fit. Maybe your spot is in an entirely different puzzle and you are the most important missing piece.
Learn to accept the limitations of yourself as well as the limitless sky. In the example above, no matter how much you try to force your way into that round slot you will only succeed in causing unnecessary discomfort to yourself in the process. Your limit then is simply accepting that is not your place. Learn to walk your truth. What that statement means is simply learn to walk as truthfully as you can to the only person that matters… the person in the mirror. A lot of people hate the word validation because they assume it means that a person is looking for outside approval. That is not the case. I see personal validation as a way of confirming to yourself that you are the best and can be trusted. When you validate self you acknowledge that the person in the mirror thinks so highly of themselves that they verify that this person is valid and true. This person is more than just what someone else has designed this person is me and that is an awesome thing.
Walking your truth is walking in all honesty. There is no room or need for hiding because you are completely open. This personal journey is something that no one can follow but yourself. As stated above everyone is uniquely them and that is the best part. Your truth may differ from mine but they are both the truth. Like two sides to a coin they are one and the same and yet each side is different. That difference is evident and essential. If you ask me how I define myself I would tell you I define ME by how I see ME. I am no different or better than how I view the person in the mirror because that person is pretty darn cool. I am sure of myself because I am perfectly imperfect. I am human and I make mistakes. I am emotional so I cry freely at movies and puppy videos. I am simply me in all of my idiosyncrasies. What is your truth? How do you see yourself. How do you want to see yourself? Aside from the physical, how would you like to change the person you are if you could? Is this change as a result of your choice or is it because someone suggested it to you?
Growing up we look at ourselves through different eyes than we do as adults. When we were kids we were sure of what we wanted to be and who we were to a certain point. We knew our identity because it wasn’t complicated finding that out. We knew that we did not like to play certain games or eat certain foods because we trusted in ourselves enough to say that powerful word ‘NO’. As we age , this one word has seemed to have lost its place in our vocabulary in the face of propriety and trying to please the masses. We may not have completely stopped saying it to others but as we age we truly started saying it more and more to ourselves. Every morning we look in the mirror and put on that favorite sweater and pair of jeans only to change because it doesn’t fit what others might think is the style. Every time we pack up all of the things that make us unique, we tell ourselves NO. We tell ourselves NO to individuality. NO to personal image.
Our perception of our true self gets warped based on us trying to fit ourselves into a peg not meant for us. This may not seem like a big deal to some but how many of you are actually living your dream (not your career or what you do to make money but your dream)? When you finished high school did you chase your dream of becoming an artist or did you go to school for business because you were afraid of failing at what you love? Or maybe someone told you that you would fail? After all in the eyes of a critic, not all artists are as talented as Picasso. But why compare yourself to him when you can just be as fabulous as YOU? Furthermore that critic is not the last person in the world. How many people are living their life as they see fit? How many are living their lives naturally? I decided to live my life the way I want to that meant for me I had to get rid of all of the negative things in my world that were not mine to carry. I walk my truth and I acknowledge my validated identity. I content with my ability to not fit in. I fit in perfectly with me. Sure that won’t make me the belle of the ball but it makes me the Queen of my story. Walk your truth. Discover your identity and hold onto it like a starving man. It is yours alone and no one can take it unless you freely give it to them. Practice saying yes to YOU. Say yes to individuality. Say yes to standing out. Say yes to being completely and imperfectly you.