A lot of us are thinking of the new year and reflecting on this past one. Well the time is now to start making plans to not just reflect but start moving past it. In 2013 there is nothing that happened good or bad that we can change. There is nothing that we can relive. We can only learn from our mistakes and revel in our accomplishments but we can not dwell in that time. If things did not happen the way that you wanted them too then that is fine. 2014 is a new beginning. It is a time that you have never lived and each day can only be done Once. Meaning that even if today is bad and yesterday was a wash then tomorrow could very well be amazing. The past few days I took a break from writing on the blog because I needed to get my head together and find out what I wanted to say in 2014. I wanted to evaluate myself and the things that I have done. I looked at my life and this past year. I have had several ups and downs, highs and lows, but the one constant is that I am still here. I still have tomorrow to look forward to. I still have a future even if it is not promised to me it is still there.
I am alive just as you are. The holiday was a tough time for a lot of us and we may have each had moments where we felt bad or reflected on the life that we lead. In this economic time we may not have been able to get as many gifts under the tree as last year. With the new year approaching most of us are in panic mode trying to get something right or to correct problems so that we do not carry them into the future year. We make unrealistic expectations or resolutions that we know in our hearts we are not going to keep beyond January 31. The past year may have been full of painful memories that still haunt your dreams. It may be full of memories of past mistakes you made. It may be a filled with heartache from lost love or loved ones. Whatever it is that keeps you awake at night or permeates your thoughts so much that you resolve to not take it into 2014 start letting it go one by one. Its time to make a memory scrapbook. A place where all of your pain and worry can be filed away, not forgotten but placed on a shelf where it should be.
- You can’t relive the past. Sure you made mistakes. You made some bad choices, who hasn’t. Forgive yourself and file that pain away in your memory scrapbook. Beating yourself up over each and every thing that you might have done is not going to resolve just because the year has changed.
- Remember love instead of focusing on loss. Are you still grieving the loss of a loved one? What about the death of a romance or relationship? Everyone has a grieving period. It is your choice how long that time is. Don’t try to rush feelings out the door because it is a new year approaching. Grieve if you need to. Get angry. Be sad… Do whatever you need to do to grow past the pain until all that is left is the memory of love.
- Look at self critically and with acceptance. Don’t go into 2014 with a poor image. Meaning just because you need to lose a few pounds or you did not finish this year at the peak you assume you should that you start thinking you failed. You didn’t fail. You simply did not reach your goal at the time. Set realistic expectations. If it is weight loss you want then start with small goals and keep upping the ante each time you meet the goals. Instead of resolving to be the goddess/god you assume you need to be simply be the ever-changing you that you are.
Resolutions are rarely met because we truly set ourselves up for failure. We say things or make promises to ourselves that we can not possibly keep yet we do it anyway. We say things like: “Next Year I am not going to be hurt by anyone again.” or “Next year I am going to lose 300lbs before May.” We can not control tomorrow and yet set goals as if we can. What we can control is ourselves. We can throw out the resolution and live the solution. We can be the changed person that we are every day and not just because we see the new year as a defining moment. Each day is a new beginning not just the changing of the year. You are not governed by time since that is the one thing that no one can guarantee. Be positive. Smile. Tomorrow, next month, next year or even the next ten years will always seem the same until you decide to change the person in the mirror. Be at peace today and try to do the same each day that you are given after. Live day by day in the now. Make goals but be honest and be a friend to yourself. Be real. You can do any and everything that you desire is you pace yourself and don’t get discouraged. Don’t disappoint yourself by being overzealous and then losing interest or hope. You have the control over you. Your destiny is yours. Your life is yours. Your time is yours. Be positive for you in all things.