I was reading a post on Facebook by an old classmate and various women that reminded me why I do what it is that I do…. Each of the beautiful women had a different story and yet there were several common denominators. As teens each girl was searching for something. They were each looking outside of themselves to find something or someone to love. Most of them had become teen moms. Some were molested as kids, some were abused physically. Either way each woman more than likely had something that happened to them that shaped their childhoods. What was also striking was the fact that the majority of these women came from two parent homes and had fairly simple if not perfect childhoods. This negates the belief that only those from bad upbringing will fall into the trap of teen pregnancy and dysfunction. So if these young girls did not have bad homes what then is the reason why some of them would have become sexually active or pregnant between the ages of 14-19? Why did our teenage years change so drastically? What could have been done to change it? And finally when we look at our daughters we see the same patterns developing with them. How do we stop it? What is the cause of this cycle? In my opinion that missing element that most of our young ladies are missing is their own personal, spiritual and physical IDENTITY. One that is VALIDATED by THEMSELVES.
The first thing to realize before I begin, is understand that you are amazing and your story is just that, your STORY… It is not the reason you should be judged… It does not determine who you are… It only shaped the reasons and decisions you choose to live by.
- IDENTITY: We are all uniquely us, but for most of us we are content to be carbon images of someone else. Maybe the reason is that we are not comfortable getting to know the real person in the mirror. Before comparing ourselves to either a media image or to our peers let’s get back to being completely singular beings… Be YOU! Each of your own quirks and issues embrace them… If you have a goofy laugh, feel free to snort. If you like wearing funky hats but that is not the fashion trend at the moment buy a million hats and go for it. Your identity should be personal. It’s OK to stand out from the rest. You don’t have to conform to be you.
- VALIDATED IDENTITY: Validation of self is the greatest gift you can ever give to YOU as a human being. This means that you are able to look at the real you and can tell the person staring back at you in the mirror that you are the best thing in the world. “I may not be God’s gift to the world but I am his gift to ME.” I am wonderfully made to be me and that is OK! I am an individual and I embrace that. I am uniquely me and that is fine. I am a mystical enigma and that is fine by me.
- SELF CONFIDENCE: In order to truly have a confidence in self, you must first have an identity as well as a validated identity. You have to first know whom it is you are confident in being. This is so much more complex than being confident in your appearance or in your place in life. This means being confident in the real you without any trappings. The naked you.
I am who I am and that is ok. I may not be perfect but that is fine. I may not be what everyone wants but that is cool too. I am good with me. I validate my own identity. I am confident in my individuality. My story is my story not my guidebook. I hope that each of you can validate your own identity. I wish you piece of mind and hope for your unique future.